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Post by moopigsdad on Mar 29, 2014 8:13:58 GMT -5
So last evening the funky family got their moo goo gai pan on. At the end of the meal, as is customary, out came the fortune cookies. I'm accustomed to the typical, "You are blessed with many friends." Meh. Or the humerous, "Confucius say 'Man who stand on toilet is high on pot'." sort of thing. Rarely does a fortune cookie attempt to actually portend the future. All the cookies yesterday fit that mold. All but one. Mine. It said "Mark your calendar for 3 months from today. Good things are in store for you." So there you have it. It's settled. The powers that be within the universe, through the magic of sugary sweets, have ordained the date of our deliverance as June 28, 2014. Now I realize that's a Saturday. I just presume the powers meant the Friday before or the Monday after. "But Funk," you say, "the all powerful forces of the universe wouldn't be off by any days or make that kind of mistake." "Nay," I reply, "the universe is most assuredly a design by approximation. As exhibit A, I invite you to marvel at the lowly platypus." So, you guys can stop the nervous guessing and speculative prognostications. The date is set in flour. And, one thing has always been true in my funky world, never doubt the power of a cookie. I like your interpretation funky, but I have another one for you regarding your fortune cookie. Your fortune said: "Mark your calendar for 3 months from today. Good things are in store for you." It could mean when you go to the store (presumably the grocery store) there will be good things for you to buy 3 months from now. I, of course, presume you do your grocery shopping on Saturday, like most people, so the Saturday date you mentioned would be absolutely correct. While at it when you at at the store 3 months from now, I suggest you pick up some situational bourbon and more cookies to eat, while we are waiting for definitive answers.
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Post by funkyodar on Mar 29, 2014 8:29:23 GMT -5
Your alternate theory would be worthy of consideration but for one fact, my moopiggy friend.
Since "The Fake Spam Incident of 2004" and the "Back to School Hawaiian Shirt Debacle of 2009" Mrs Funky has forbidden my participation in any shopping that doesn't involve putting gas in a vehicle.
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Post by gary on Mar 29, 2014 8:43:55 GMT -5
Soooo, does that mean the pump you use will charge you $1.00 less per gallon than it should?
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Post by funkyodar on Mar 29, 2014 8:51:10 GMT -5
Soooo, does that mean the pump you use will charge you $1.00 less per gallon than it should? Damn. Thanks a lot gary. Just gave the universal powers an out on a technicality. If we have to wait beyond june 28, its gary's fault.
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Post by Gaidin on Mar 29, 2014 10:09:23 GMT -5
I really prefer Funky's interpretation and since I have avoided applying logic to any of my prior theories I will continue operating in that manner. But just to be safe Funky don't buy any gas that weekend.
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Post by gary on Mar 29, 2014 10:15:54 GMT -5
Could putting gas in the vehicle include going to a drive-thru and buying a chili dog?
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Post by Gaidin on Mar 29, 2014 10:28:46 GMT -5
Best avoid that too Funky.
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Post by funkyodar on Mar 29, 2014 10:29:11 GMT -5
Could putting gas in the vehicle include going to a drive-thru and buying a chili dog? Generally speaking, buying fast food is acceptable under the terms of my wife imposed shopping restrictions. We debate frequently whether said restrictions prevent quickie mart purchases made at the time of gas purchase. I was clearly winning that argument until about a month ago when it was freezing and the local quick stop sold some awesome tye dyed knit hats.
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Post by privateatty on Mar 29, 2014 11:06:29 GMT -5
Its spelled tie dye. And there we go again--bartleby and I encounter that a lot--boomer envy.
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Post by FlaTreeFarm on Mar 29, 2014 11:18:28 GMT -5
"Mark your calendar for 3 months from today. Good things are in store for you." I think this means you will be heading to the SEC... just desserts?
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Post by Ace Midnight on Mar 29, 2014 22:00:06 GMT -5
I can just see Funky rolling into Metairie, trying to pronounce names, places and understand the local lingo... then be completely co-opted by the time his transfer comes through and he won't want to leave.
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Post by funkyodar on Mar 29, 2014 22:27:35 GMT -5
I've visited the crescent city a few times...and would love to VISIT again.
2 guys were in a bar, one looking a bit down. The other asked "what's wrong bud?"
"I just found out my company is moving me to new orleans." was the reply.
"Oh you will love it" said the first guy.
"Really? I heard it was really dangerous?"
"No, I lived there for 10 years, never had a problem."
"Wow," said the second guy, "what line of work were you in?"
the first guy replied, "door gunner on a bread truck."
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Post by hopefalj on Mar 31, 2014 11:59:20 GMT -5
I'm actually surprised we don't have a poll or even a little more discussion on when people think the cert will come out. There has been a lot of talk on the size, content, and implications of the new cert methodology, but not a whole lot of concern on when we'll find out. I keep wondering if today will be the day I get an email or read about others getting emails.
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Post by funkyodar on Mar 31, 2014 12:10:51 GMT -5
Well, we have blown past the 12 day previous record for quickest cert from nor date.
Previous timelines suggest around 30 days is the norm. So, I'm gonna guess tax day, April 15.
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Post by 71stretch on Mar 31, 2014 12:14:43 GMT -5
I think if we were dealing with the old cert system, and I'm assuming we are not, the cert would be out by now. Whatever the new process means, it's taking a bit more time.
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Post by JudgeRatty on Mar 31, 2014 12:25:57 GMT -5
Well, we have blown past the 12 day previous record for quickest cert from nor date. Previous timelines suggest around 30 days is the norm. So, I'm gonna guess tax day, April 15. As long as it isn't tomorrow! Not that I mind but something about seeing the thread start on April Fools day .... Ugh! LOL!
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Post by Ace Midnight on Mar 31, 2014 15:20:44 GMT -5
Somebody is going to be impulsive enough to make such a joke tomorrow - I'm just hoping I can be prepared to take the punch, so to speak. Last time, my heart skipped a beat.
It didn't help matters that I was on the elliptical machine when I got the NOR email. I almost died right there.
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Post by gary on Mar 31, 2014 15:26:05 GMT -5
Somebody is going to be impulsive enough to make such a joke tomorrow - I'm just hoping I can be prepared to take the punch, so to speak. Last time, my heart skipped a beat. It didn't help matters that I was on the elliptical machine when I got the NOR email. I almost died right there. I wouldn't need the NOR email to almost die on an elliptical machine.
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