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Post by funkyodar on Feb 25, 2014 13:48:37 GMT -5
Dear OPM,
What's happened to us? I just don't understand. After we met online things went smoothly. We chatted so well. I told you all about myself, my history, my dreams. You told me what you wanted in a perfect match. Told me I fit the the bill and you cut so many other suitors free.
Then you invited me to DC. To your place. Met the family, had a great meal. Then you invited me upstairs. I may not have performed to your lofty expectations. You being so much more experienced at this than I. But I gave it my all and I know when I left I felt I had never been so thoroughly, um, probed.
I really thought we had something special. I was prepared to move anywhere for you. But then....nothing. No contact since DC. No emails, letters, calls. Not even a text since september.
I may have just been a piece of meat to you. A toy. But I have feelings. Feelings I have invested in us. I need to know if you see a future between us. We have what eachother needs, babe. Break down these walls of silence you have built around our love.
Xxxxoooo,
Funky
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Post by Gaidin on Feb 25, 2014 13:51:38 GMT -5
You sir are a genius.
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Post by 71stretch on Feb 25, 2014 13:52:51 GMT -5
Your best post EVER, IMHO.
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Post by queenie262 on Feb 25, 2014 14:13:51 GMT -5
funky = funny!
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Post by privateatty on Feb 25, 2014 14:14:26 GMT -5
Your best post EVER, IMHO. Shall we construct a poll? Oh, never mind! [Miss you Gilda!!!] Yes, it is his best post, just don't show it to Mrs. Funky. What credit card was that on?!
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Post by 71stretch on Feb 25, 2014 14:44:37 GMT -5
Dear Funky: Thank you for your letter of February 25, 2014. Who are you? As you know, I have so many people vying for my affection, that it is hard to keep track. I do think I remember you, in the back of the room, with your sweet face, and nice shoes. You looked so cold, and yet I could tell you have a warm heart. If that was you. I am having such a difficult time with my feelings. I must be firm and fair with my love. I am torn between many lovers, and feeling like a fool. I believe that applicants are our future - teach them well, and let them lead the way. People are pulling me in many directions. I hope you will wait for me. I won't keep you waiting much longer - depending on how you define long. We'll always have DC. Yours very truly, OPM Bravo.... I feel a song coming on....
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Post by BagLady on Feb 25, 2014 14:45:22 GMT -5
"Break down these walls of silence you have built around our love" made me laugh out loud! Thanks for that!
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sxsw
Full Member
Posts: 75
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Post by sxsw on Feb 25, 2014 14:53:48 GMT -5
Bravo to both of you - I think we all needed that!
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leo68
Full Member
Posts: 33
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Post by leo68 on Feb 25, 2014 15:29:17 GMT -5
So funny I laughed out loud!
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Post by gary on Feb 25, 2014 15:42:15 GMT -5
Dear Funky,
It's not you. It's me.
Forever,
OPM
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Post by funkyodar on Feb 25, 2014 15:57:26 GMT -5
Thank you all for laughing at my pain . From the responses, I guess I was nevr more than a plaything to OPM. At least I can cancel my ebay bid for that vintage boombox. It apparently won't matter how long I stand outside opm holding it over my head. I will get over it. In truth, OPM, I was just using you to get closer to SSA anyway. Funky
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Post by hopefalj on Feb 25, 2014 16:08:10 GMT -5
I can't believe you left out how you have been agonizing and over-analyzing every little action taken and statement made by OPM since the relationship started, looking for significance or meaning in every one- or two-word phrase OPM has given you since March. See details? Complete? What does that mean for you and OPM? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME? ??
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Post by 71stretch on Feb 25, 2014 16:33:37 GMT -5
I can't believe you left out how you have been agonizing and over-analyzing every little action taken and statement made by OPM since the relationship started, looking for significance or meaning in every one- or two-word phrase OPM has given you since March. See details? Complete? What does that mean for you and OPM? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME? ?? Right.. there had to be a reference to "you 'complete' me" somewhere in there.
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Post by sealaw90 on Feb 25, 2014 16:55:37 GMT -5
OMG! All of you deserve a standing ovation for your collective agony and humor. Bravo and Brava! Thanks, I couldn't say it any better, but a poll to see how many feel like jilted lovers verses how many feel like they want to slash OPM's tires would be interesting. I am channeling Carrie Underwood right now...
"Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp, and she's probably getting frisky... right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey... Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...
And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats... I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires... Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."
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Post by ginger on Feb 25, 2014 17:03:18 GMT -5
That is what Mrs funky is going to be singing when she finds he's been two timing her with a 1000-timing floozy who had him at hello and congratulations dear applicant.
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Post by Dark Lord of the Sith on Feb 25, 2014 17:38:44 GMT -5
Someone needs to be fired or forced choked!
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Post by bartleby on Feb 25, 2014 17:54:45 GMT -5
Is it just for divorce & lengthy relationships or do short lived relationships require closure, too?
A break-up is a break-up, no matter how it's explained. When a relationship ends, a couple separates with feelings of hurt, remorse, guilt and sometimes relief. This is common when marriages or long term commitments end. But what happens when there are immediate sparks with someone you just met and then, almost overnight, those sparks fade away.
Your emotions matter in all situations. When you invest your time and your heart into another person, you are becoming vulnerable, an otherwise uncomfortable feeling that can leave you feeling insecure, unsure and exposed to being hurt. The amount of time you spend with someone does not determine this level of vulnerability, the amount of yourself that you give to the other person does. Deciding to give your heart to someone else always comes at a risk of letting your guard down to let love in.
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Post by funkyodar on Feb 25, 2014 17:58:53 GMT -5
That is what Mrs funky is going to be singing when she finds he's been two timing her with a 1000-timing floozy who had him at hello and congratulations dear applicant. Nah, I'm cool with the missus. OPM is on my "it's not cheating if..." list. It's a short list really. Just federal agencies and if Cindy Crawford somehow de-ages 20 years and pulls up in a Ferrari to buy a Pepsi. It's good to have the list though. I'd hate for every time I've been screwed by the IRS to count as adultery.
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Post by ssaogc on Feb 25, 2014 18:07:58 GMT -5
Thank you Funky and Devildog. By far the two most "liked" posts I have seen on this board!
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Post by maquereau on Feb 25, 2014 18:25:18 GMT -5
I wouldn't say I'm easily amused, but Funky's post had me rolling! Liked the follow up too.
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