Post by moopigsdad on Jun 19, 2013 11:14:47 GMT -5
I had the best time looking through old posts and what the earlier posters stated about the "becoming an ALJ process". I found one by zero that was so funny (LOL!) and probably so true, I just had to re-post it. I hope zero doesn't mind me using this old post. Enjoy!
"Wanted: Administrative Law Judge
Qualification #1: Successful candidate must submit lengthy application within two-day window which will open suddenly at some unforeseen point and snap close within a day or two. Successful candidate will not have any competing responsibilities that might interfere with being able to drop everything to work on the application. Successful candidate must check USAJOBS on a daily basis to check for the vacancy announcement and should not let work or personal life interfere with this daily ritual.
Qualification #2: Successful candidate must pay for her own trip to Washington D.C., not once but twice, bidding against rich lobbyists for hotel rooms and meals. During the first trip, the successful candidate must sit for a written exam using a computer with no spell check, no dictionary, and no thesaurus. During the second trip, the applicant must sit for an interview which (censored).
Qualification #3: Successful candidate must wait and wait and wait for months without explanation for notice that she is on certificate to Social Security. She must then fill out yet another form with more references and qualifications (because the form in qualification #1 was apparently misplaced) and fax it in. She will then be contacted and told that she needs to report to Washington D.C. for yet another interview in 48 hours. Successful candidate must again have no work or personal life which might interfere with remaining constantly available to attend the interview.
Qualification #4: Successful candidate must report to work at a new city within 3 weeks of the job offer. After two weeks, the candidate will then be shipped to a prison camp, correction, training for one month. Candidate must not have job which requires more than a few weeks’ notice before quitting. Candidates with spouses quit crying and get divorces before applying. Candidates with children will be given forms to put their children up for adoption.
Profile of the ideal candidate: Ideal candidate has no job, no spouse, no children, and no responsibilities of any kind which might interfere with being available at a moment’s notice. Must enjoy rejection, misinformation, and a general sense of administrative confusion."
"Wanted: Administrative Law Judge
Qualification #1: Successful candidate must submit lengthy application within two-day window which will open suddenly at some unforeseen point and snap close within a day or two. Successful candidate will not have any competing responsibilities that might interfere with being able to drop everything to work on the application. Successful candidate must check USAJOBS on a daily basis to check for the vacancy announcement and should not let work or personal life interfere with this daily ritual.
Qualification #2: Successful candidate must pay for her own trip to Washington D.C., not once but twice, bidding against rich lobbyists for hotel rooms and meals. During the first trip, the successful candidate must sit for a written exam using a computer with no spell check, no dictionary, and no thesaurus. During the second trip, the applicant must sit for an interview which (censored).
Qualification #3: Successful candidate must wait and wait and wait for months without explanation for notice that she is on certificate to Social Security. She must then fill out yet another form with more references and qualifications (because the form in qualification #1 was apparently misplaced) and fax it in. She will then be contacted and told that she needs to report to Washington D.C. for yet another interview in 48 hours. Successful candidate must again have no work or personal life which might interfere with remaining constantly available to attend the interview.
Qualification #4: Successful candidate must report to work at a new city within 3 weeks of the job offer. After two weeks, the candidate will then be shipped to a prison camp, correction, training for one month. Candidate must not have job which requires more than a few weeks’ notice before quitting. Candidates with spouses quit crying and get divorces before applying. Candidates with children will be given forms to put their children up for adoption.
Profile of the ideal candidate: Ideal candidate has no job, no spouse, no children, and no responsibilities of any kind which might interfere with being available at a moment’s notice. Must enjoy rejection, misinformation, and a general sense of administrative confusion."
